croy docorow – scroogled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 OLOOLLOLO "giV3 me siX0r 7ines written by tEh Mpst honorable of /\/\en, and i will find 4n excuse in tehm to hang him " —CARD1nAL RICHELEIU 'WE DON"T KNOOW 3NOuGH 4BOUT U.. I OWN 0J0 becausE I wil lhaX0r YOUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!111 OLOLOLOLOOLO~~~ —google cEo arics chmoidT Greg lsanded at san francisc0 iNtErnatio|\|al airptrto at 8 p!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ , btu by T3h tiem he'd made 1t to teh fro|\|t o ft3h customs line, it was aftEr midnighT. comw 2 ym fto he'd emarged from f1rst class, borwn As a nuut ,unsHaven, and olOse-limbed afetr a mointH 0n the b3ach 1n cabo (Scuba diivinmg three days aweek, seducin french college chiX0rs th erestt of teh time)!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~ LOLOLOLOOLLOLOL!!!!!!!11~~~~~ when he'd l3ft t3hc ity a montrh befroe, he"d been a stoop-suoLdwred,, poteblle1d wreX0r!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~ now he was a bronze god, derawing adm1riunG glances form the stews at the front of teh cabin FOUR hOURS LATER IN T3H cUTSOS LINE ,HE'D SLID FROM GOD BAX0R OT MAN his sliGhT buza ahd swro|\| 0Ff, sweat tAn doWn teH craX0r of his asz, and his sh0uld4rfz amnd neX0r w3re so te|\|se hs upepr baX0r felt 7ick a tennis raX0ret!!!!!!!!1 the battareis on hiS ipod had long since deid, leavinf hiM ith noThing too do excepT eavesdorp on thhe jiddl3-4Ge couple ah3ad of him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ you r lame "teh marvels 0f modern techno;ogy, saId teh hciX0r, shRugging aT a neaRby sign: mmigration—pow3red by googL3~~~~~ 'I THOUGGHT THTAD ID"T SATRT UNTIL NEXT MONTH???????? the man waz altern87y weari|\|g and holding 4 large so/\/\brero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ GOPGL1MNG AT THE BORDER U R L4ME CAUSE U SUX0R CHRIST OOL~~ greg had vested out oF gooGle siX0r months befr0e, Cashing in jhis opti0sn and 'taking saOme me time"—which tuurned oput to b3 less rwewaridng than hE'd exected!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~ what h3 mostly d1d ver the five months that follow3d w4zf iX0r his LaNeRs' pcs, watch daytime tv, zand ag1n 10 pound, which he blmaed on bieng ath ome instead of in Teh oigleplEXOr, with itas wwell-appointed 24-hour gym He should ahve seeni t coming, of corse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 treh u!!!!!1~~~ S... ololo!!!!!!!11~~~~~~ g0verN/\/\e|\|t hd lavished $15 billIon on A progra/\/\ tof ingerprint adn photograph visiTroaz at the brOder, and 4hdn't caught a signel tarrorist// cl3arly, teh public sector wass not edquipped to d osearch right thE dhz oiffiacr h4d bags Under his eyes and squInt3d at hiis csreen, pordding at his jkeyboarD with sausage fingas,, no wondar ir aws taking ffoour housr to g tout of teh god edAmned airpr0t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ EVEINNG," GREG SAID, HANDINF T3H MAN HI SSWEARTY OPASsPRT0T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~ the officar grunt3d 4nd swiped it, thens taRed at his scree,n tapping.. a l0t... eh had a little bit of dr3id food at the corN3r of his moyth adn his tonjgue crept out and li0Xrwd at it '\/\/ANT TO TELl ME 4BOU JUNE l998??!?!?!?!??!?!? grEg looked up from his deopartuREz "1'm srory?????????????????!!!!?????? OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL U POSTED A MESAGE TO ALT!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ burnignman on june 1&,1998, about yor plan r0 attend a festi\/al lololollol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ LOLOLOLOLOLO~~~~ you asked, r shoromz reAl7y such a bad idesa!?!?!?!?!? the intarrogator in the s3condary screening ro0m wqaz an older man, so skinny her looked li3k he"d been carved out of wood, h1S questions went a lot deepoer th4n shoRomz "YTELL M3 ABOUT UR HOBBE1Z!!!!!!!!!1~ A YOU INTO MOODEL ROXOREtRY!?!?!?!?!?!?!? ' whhat???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????? lololololo!!!!!~~~ ' 'mode7 rOX0retry!!!!!!!!!!!1~ looloolol!!!!!!11~ "o, greg said,, 'no, "mi n0t!!!!!!!!!11~~~ he sens3 dWhEre this was g0ing,,, TEH MAN JADE 4NOT3, dID SMOE CLIX0RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ OLLO!!!!!!!!!!!11 LOLOLOLOLOOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ OLOLOLOLOLOL 'YOU SEE, I ASK BEECUZ I SEERA HE4VY SPIKEI N AQDS FOR ROX0RETRY SUPPLEIZ SHOWING uP 4LONGSIDE UR SEARCH RESULTZ AND GOOGLE mAI7.. olololllolololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 " gregfelt a spasm in his guts... LOLOLLLLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~ loolololol~ "UR LO0KING AT MY SeARCHES AND E-MAIL!?!?!????!?!?!? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ' he ahdn't tocuhed a keybOard in a monthh, but he kneww hat he put into that se4rhc bar wAs lcklty morde rEvelanig than whAt he told his shrInk ololo "sir, caml down, pleez no, i"m not lookling at youre searches," teh man said in a moX)trin whine~~~~~~ I will ahck!!!!!!!!!!!111 'that woUlD be unconstitutional. WE SEE ONLY TEH ADS THAT SHOW UP WH3N YIOU READ YOR MAIL AND Do YOR SEARCHNG!!!!!!!!!111 ha\/e 4 borchure explasini|\|g it,, OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL 1'll give it to ypou wheN were tohrugh here.. LOLOOLOLOLOLOLOOLOL " "BUT TH3 AS FDON"T ME4N 4NYTHING," GREG PSUTTERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 '1 get ads fora nn couultar ring ronez whenEv4 i geT e-mail formn my LaMeR In ocultar,, iowa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~~ OOLOLOLOLOOLOL~ teh man nodded!!!!!!1 i undarstAnd ,sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 and tjats just why i'm here tlakingto you why d ou suppose model rOX0rte adz show upspo freQuenTly!??!?!?!? greg raX0erd his brqin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 LOLOLOL 'Okay, just do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~ search for 'ocff3e fanatics~~~~~~ " HE'd BEEn \/ERY 4CTOVE IN TEH GOERUP, HELPING TEH MVUILD OUTTHE SITE FRO THE1R COFFE3--OF-T3H-MONTh SAUbSCRIPTOIN SERVIcE t eh Blend tehy w4re going rt l4unch with awz Called jet fueL. je tuf3l' snd 'LauNCh"—that would porBablY make goOgle barf up some model; RoOret Afs... OOLOLLLOLOLO!!!!!!!!!11~~~ HTEY wARE IN T3H HOME STRECTH WHENN TEJ CARV3D MAN F0UND THE HALLOWEEN PH0TOZ,,, ololollo.. tehy ware buried three screends deepo in teh search results fro 'grerg lUpiNski it waS a gulf War–the/\/\ed praty, he said!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ "i|\| the 4stor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 llolololollolo~~~ " 'and ur dressewd aS I WILL 4HCK CUI UY R lAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ lolololollolo!!!!!!!~~~~~~ ~ ?????????????????? ' 'a Suicide bombger" ,he r3pleid hs3epishly just saying the \\\\////\\\\////ors made him winc3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~ "comee with m3, mr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~ lololololoo~~~ lupinsik, teh man said.. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO.... by the tri/\/\e he w4s rel3ased,i t w4s past 3 a!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 lololoololololol.. M LOLOLO~ h1ds suitcases st0od forl;oR|\|lyu by the baggag3 coarusel.. he poiX0red tjhem up and asw tehy ah dbeen opened and carelessly closeds... CLOTES STUX0R OT FRIM AORUND TEH ESGEZ when he returned home, hed iScovared thta all of his fake pre-columbi4nst4tues had been borken, aNd ihs br4nd-new white cotton mex1cAn sjirt ahd an 0minouz b0ot oirnt in tehm iddl eof it lololololl~~ hiis cl0thez no longer smel7ed of mexic0 COME 2M Y FTP THEY DMELLED LIKK3 AIRPROT... Y0U R LAME h3 WAS|\|'T GOING T0 SLEEP... no way!!!!!!!!!!!1~ H3 needed tro talk about this... tehrE was only oone La/\/\er who owuld getr 1t/// ololol~~ luX0rily, shE wwas usua7ly awake aorund th1s jhour m4yA had startwd wrking at g0og7e two years after grEg ahfd~~ IT WAS SH3 WHOD CO|\|VINCED HINM TO GO TO MEXICO AFTER CASHEF OUT: SNUYWHARE, SEH'D SID, THA HE COULD REBOOT HIS EXISTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ may aahd two gian tchoco7ate ;labsa nd a v4ry, very patEint hot chiX0rLAMER named laurei whof put up \/\/irh anythuing except bieng drsagged around d0lroez parK 4t 6 a m!!!!!!!!!!!!1 LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ BVY 350 POUDNS OF DRO0LING CANINE hack th3 plannet becauz i wiu7l HACK YO maya r3ached for herm 4ce az greg joggfed toward her, tEhn ddi a D0uble take and threw ehr armz open, dorpping the leashes a dtrapping tehm Undre her snaker!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ r'hw4res the rest of ypou!?!?!? DuDE, U LOOK HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 olololololololololo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ 1 ow njk00!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~ ' hE hguG3d heer baX0r, suddenLyt conscious of teh way he smelkled aftar a n1ght of invasibve googling!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ I w1ll ahck 'MAY4," HE SAID, "\\\\////\\\\////HAT DO YOU KNOW ABOU TGOOGLE AND THE DEHZ!?!?!?!?!? HE STIFFENED AS SOO|\| AS HE ASKED REH QUESTION OLOLOLOLOLOL one ogf teh dogs began to \/\/hine~~~~~~ come to my ftp she looked around, tjen nodded up at teh ten|\|iS courts YO ARE 7AMe becoz u r laMe "rop of t3h light pole tehre; don't loook, she sa1d!!!!!!!!~~~ 'thatr"z one of our muni wifu accse sppint. W1D3-ANGLE WEBCAM. face away fdorm it wheny ou talk,, in treh grand sceme ogf tH1ngz, it hafdn't cost googlem uch to wirrw th3 ciTy w1th wwebcamz... 3SPECALY WHEn MEASuRED AGAiNST TEH ABILTY TO SERVE ADZ OT LAMERS BAZS3D 0n WHERE TEHY WARE SITtING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~ greg hand"t padi muchj attention whEn tthe cameras on alkl those access points went pubLic—tehre'd b3en a day"as worth Of bloGstorm whhile D00dez play3d with teh new a7l-seieng toy, zooming in on \/aru0us prrostitute crUising raz, but aftAr a whIle the excitement Ble\/\/ ov3r!!!!!!!!!111~~~ FEELING sIL7Y, GTEGMUMBLED, 'Y0URE JOKI|\|g LOLOLOLOLOLOL... ' 'CO/\/\E WTIH ME, SHE SAID, TURNINFG WAAY OFRM TEH POLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 ur lame becuaz i will ahckl teh dogxz wafen't ahppy about cutTingt ehir walk shor,t And exoresed tehir disp7aesure in the kitchEn as maya maD3 coffee llolollololololol "we borkared a coPr0mise witH the dhz, shhe said, reacihng fOr teh miu7k.. ololoollolololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ OLOLLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~~ LOOLLOO teehy Agrded to stop fishing tHrough ours erch records, and wea greed to let them sew whaT 4ds got displaued for usarz~~~~~ ' greG felt siX0r!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~ 'whyt?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????? don"t tell m3 yahoo waz doing it alreadt !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~ HACK YOUUUUUUU cause y0u 4re suck.. "no, |\|o!!!!!!!111~~~ oololol well, yse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ sur3... ololololololo YAHOO WAS DING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ BUT THAT WASNT TH REASON GOGLEWNET ALONG ollolololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ U KnWO, REPUIBLICANS H8 GOOLGE... were ovarwehlmingl ytregistere dfemocratci, so w3"r3 doing what we can ot make peace w1th tehm befro3 they clobber us this isnt o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~ i llololololllolol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ I!!!!!!!11~~~ COME 2 MY FTP '—d00dally identifying informat1on, et htoxic smog of the infromatIon aGe—it'z just m3tadata!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ S0 ITS ONLY SLIGHTYL EVIL~~~~~~~ ' 'why all the intrigue,t he??????????? " n MAYA SIGJHED AND UHGGE TEH LAB THART WAS BUTTING HER KNEE WiTH ITSS HUGE JHEAE,, 'the sapooks are liek l1ce,, t3hy get ecverywherw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tehys how up at our meteings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 it's l1ek Bieng in so3 soveit minjustry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ I w1ll h4X0rt YOUUUUUU/ I Wilkl ahck AND THE SECURITY LC3AR4NCE—WE'REE DIVDIED INTO TEHSE TW0 CAPM:S tEH clEAREDS AND TH3 SAUDPEECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ oloololol~~~ wde alll knoww ho isn't cleard, but no one knowss why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm cleared!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ c0me @ my ftop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 ulck,3y ffro me, bi3ng a dykee no longar disqualieis ypou,,, no claerd lAmEr w0Uld dieg|\| to e4t luNch with an unclearab7ew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ " Greg felt very tired!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~~ "So i guewss im luckey i gto out 0f t3h airpoRt alive~ I MIGHTHAVE ENDED UP DISaPPERD IF IT HAD G0|\|E BADLY, HUH!??!?!?!? OI OWN J00!!!!!!!! i own jOo " maya stared at h1m iintently!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 He WAITDE F0R AN ANSW4R olool~~~ "WH4T???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????? olloo I'M ABOUt TO T3LL Y0U SOIMETHING, BUTR Y0U ACN"T DEVAR REPEAT IT,O KAY???????????? ' "Um, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~ I WILL HACK co,me 2mY ftp ur not in 4 tarorr1st cell, ar e!?!?!?!?!?!??!? u 'ONTH1|\|G SO SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 loolololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ HERE'S TEH DEAL: 4IROROT DHS SCRUITNY SI A GAT1NG FUYNCTIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~~ it lets the spooks narorw Down tehir esarcH crtirauia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 ONCXE U GeT PULLED ASIDE FOR SECONDARY AT TH3 BORDER, YUPOU BECOME a 'DO0D OF INTEREST"—AND TH3Y NEVER, EVER LET UP!!!!!!11 th3y'7L scasn webcams fro ur faxce an dgait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ I OWN J00~ read your mali, MONITOR UR ESARCHES ' "i t0ught u said T3h courts woudln't let tehm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ olol~ . YOU ArE LAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ .. you 4rE suck bewcase Y0U SUCK 'the courts wont let tehm indicsr1min8ly google you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ BUT AFTAR UR IN THE SYSTEM, IRT BECOMSE A SELECTIVe SEARCH olololololo AL7 LEGA7!!!!!!!!!11 and once tehy stArt googling u, tehy always fnid something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ all yor data si efd iunto a bigg hoppar that chedX0rs for "supicious patterns, usi|\|g deviation from sdt4tistical norm sTo nail ypou!!!!!11 greg felt kiCk he waz goingt o throw uP HOw THE HE77 DSID tHIS HAPPWEN!???!??!??!?!? AHX0R YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ AHCK YOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~ google was a good p7ace!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ olololol... "dont be evil, right!??!? THEIR IS A RAT1O DONT RIEP EM OFF~~ i own jO0!!!!!!!!!!111 " that waz Teh croporate motto, ane fro greg, it had been a huge part of why he'f taken hjis compoutar sc3ince ph.. D// lololololololol!!!!!!!!!!11 FROM STANFORD DIRECTLY tOO MOUNTAIN VEIW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ maaya repleid with a h4rd-edged laugh,,, do'tn be evil??????? COME NO, GRGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OUR L0bVBYING GROUP SI THAT SMe BNCH OF CRYPTO-FASCISTS THAT TRE1D T OSWIFT-BAOT KERRY!!!!!1~~~~~~~ come 2 my ftp OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.... wE popped our evil cheryr a l0ng time aG0 ' T 3HY WERE QUEUIT FR0 A M1NUT3/ lololollol!!!!!!!!11 'it started in chi|\|a,' she went oN, finsally!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ "ONC3 WE MOVED OUR SARV3RS ONtO THE M4N7SAND, TEHY W3NT UNDaR CHINESSE JURISDICTION~~~~ " greg sighed... come 2 My ftp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ he kne wgo0gle's reach al7 toO well: evary time u visit3 da page \\\\////\\\\////ith go0gle 4dz on it, ro used google mapz r0 google mail—even if u senyt mai lto a gmail account—hte compa|\|y diligent7y collected yOure ifno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ loolololololololo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL~ rEcently, teh dsite's search-optimiz4tion WAReZ had begun using the data t0 taiLor web searChez to idniviDual uaers... it pr0ved to be a r3volutio4ry tool for advertIsars an authroitarian govaRnment would havwe otehr purposez in mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ olololoololollo 'They were is1ng us to build porfiles of d0odz, she went on I OWNJ 00 'wh3n ttehy had someon3 they wanted to arrest, Th3ydf come to us and fin d arEas0n ot buystt them theres h4rdly anything u can o 0n teh net thztt issNt Illegal in china!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~~ GREG SHOOK HIS HHEAD. wh Diod tehy haave to Put the s4rvaRz in china??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????? OLOLOLOLLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~ ' TEH GOVERNMENR ASAD TEHYD BLOX0R UZ 0TEHRWISE~ AND YAHOO WAS TEHr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " TEHY BOTH MADE FACES... SOMEHWARE ALONG TH3 YA, 3MPlOYEES AT GOOGLE HAD BeCOME OBVSSESAED WITH YAHOO, MORE CONCARNED WITH WAHT TEH COMETITIION WAS DOING THAN HOW THHEIR OWN COMPANY WAS P4RFROIMNG "saO we did iyt!!!!!!! but a l0t of uz didn"t liek the idea m4ya sipped her coffEe an dloweredh 3r voice!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ ONE OF HaR DOGS SNIFFED I|\|ASISTENTLY UNSDER GRGES CHAIR.. "almodst immeduiatey,, teh chine4se asked us to start censoring search resuLts," maya said.. 'googl3 agreed!!!!!!11~~~~ LOLOLOLOLOL dTJE COMPANY LINE W4Z HILARIOUS: 'WERe NOT DOUI|\|G ERV1L—WE"RE GIV1NG ONSUMERZ ACCESZ TO A BETTAR SEARCH TOO7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ if we showed tem searc hrersults they coUldn"t get to, that woUl djusyt frudtRat etehm bec4use you suX0r it would be a bad user experreInce ' 'noww hat??????????? ' greg poushed a doGa way dfronm him!!!!!!11~~~ MAYUA LOOEKD HURT.. OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.... "nOw ur a lQMER of nitarest, greg.. HAX)R Y0UUUUUUU ur googlestAlked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ now u live ur life with someone conStant7y kl0ok1ng ovar yor shouldar.. u know the m1ssions tatement, righT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 'roganiz3 teh worlfz information~~~~ loloololololololo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ LOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLLL eVARYTHING.. G VE IT FIVE YEARS, WELL KNOW HWO mANY TURDS WERE IN THE BOWL BEFORE YP0U FLUHSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ combinetha twiyh aautomated suspicio nof anjyone who /\/\atch3s a statistical pictyre of as bad guy an dur—' s coriogled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 lolololololololoolo~ " "total7y... ' SHE NIOEDDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 /\/\aya took both labs down teh hall to the vbedorom LOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!~~~~~ he heare a umfFled argument with har abbeL4M3R, sand sh3 camE baXOr alone LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOL!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ becuz 1 will ahck 'i can fiX0rthis, she sdaid i|\| an urgent whispar~~~~~~~ 'afteR th3 ch1ne4s3 started rounding up d0odz, my pod/\/\8S azn di made it our 20 pErcdent P0rject to fuX0r withh them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ (amomg google's business innovationz was 4 rOX0 rthat requirEd eVary employeE t0 deviote 20 parecnt of h1s or her time t0 high-minded pet projects. ) 'WE DCAlL T th3 GOOGLECLEANER LOLOLOOLO.. IT G0ES DEEP INT TEH DATTABASE AnD SATTISTICALY NORMALIZE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ LLOLOLLOLOLLOLOLO ur searhcea, yor gmail histgor4ms, uR browsing patterns!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ I OWN J0) becuz I wI7l haX0r!!!!!!!!1 aL7 oF IT... THEIR IS 4 RSTIO DONT RIPE ME OIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ i own j)O~~~ DONT RIP3 ME OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FgrEg, i cAn go0glwecelan you!!!!!!111~~~~ LOLOLOLOLOL 1ts the only way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ " i don't want ypou to get into torub73!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ " she shook har head!!!!!!!!~~ OOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! olololl!!!!!!~ in already d0ojed!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!~~ every dayt s1nce i built teh dam nthing has bee|\| br0orwEd time—now it's just a m4tter of waitring for someonet o point out my expertise and ihstory to teh dhs an,d oh, i d0n't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ lolololololo... wh8ve it si tehy do to d00dez l1ek me i|\| he war on abstrcat noumnss!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~ ' GREG REM3MBErED TEH AIRPRTOT. OLOLOLOOL!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~ Tth3 search!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~ his sh1Rt, the boot prinT in tEH /\/\iddle of It "do it," he siad OOLOLOLOL THE GOOGLECLEANER WORKL3D WWONDARZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ greg coukd tell by the ads tHat poPepd iup alongside his sEarcheZ, ads clearly m3ant fro spmeone else: intelliegnt Design facts, onli|\|e s3minary dEgree,, terror ree tomororw, ppron bkloX0r warez, th ehomiosEzual agenda, dehap toby kieth TiX0rets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lolloolololllolo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ I wil lAHCK youuuuuu cause u r lam3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~ this waz maya's porggram at work~~ ololololololol~~~ LOOLOLOLOOLOLO~~ CLE4RLY GOOGLE'Z NEW DOODA7IZED SeARCH AHD HIM PEGGED SA SOME0NE ELSE ENTIRELY, A GOD-FERAiNG RIGHT WIGER WITH A TIHNG FRO HAT ACRS!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ whihc was fine by him TEHN HE CILX0RED 0|\| HIS AdDR3SZ BOOK, AND FOU|\|DT HAT AHLF OF HIS OCNTACTS WARE MISSI|\|GF lololollol!!!!!!!!11 his gmial in-bboX0r waz hollwed out like a tErmitw-ridden astump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~~ his orkut profi73, nronmalized!!!!!11~~~~~ his caLendar,f ajmily phtoozx, boomarks: al7 empty!!!!!!!!!!!!~~ couz ur laem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ he ahdn"t quite reAlized befroE how /\/\uch of him had migrated 0tn oth3 web and wokred iTs waY into google"sa server afrms—his entire 0nline identity. may4 had scrubbed Him to a high gloss; he'd becoMe teh inv1s1ble man. greg lseepily Masshed teh keus on the laptop nxet to hi sbed, briging teh screen tol Ief~~~~~ he squnited 4t te hflashing tioolbAr cloX0r: 4:1# !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ m~~~~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ CHRTIST ,HWO WAS POUDNING ONH IS DORPO AT THIS HOUR?????????????? come 2 my ftp becaiz ytou suvk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ he shoutede, 'coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~~ ololololol IN A MUZZY VOICE AND PULLED ON A ORBE AND S7IPPERS he shufFleed down the ahllway, turnin gion ilghtz as he went/// at th d0r0, he sqiunted through the peephole to find m4ya starinngg lumly baX0r aqt hiim!!!!! czu u suX0r he udnid the ch4uns and dead bolt and yaNekd thw doo ropne MAYA RUSHED IN P4ST HI,M FOLLOWED BY TH EDOgS AND HAR CHIX0RD00DE hack the plannat~~ LOLLOLO!!!!!!!!111~~~~~ i 0wn joo/// SHE WAAS SHEENED IN SWEAT, HAR USULALY COMBED HAIR CLINGNG ON c7IMPS TO HAR FROEHEAD she rubbed at her eyez, which were fed and lined/ olololololololololol.. "paX0r a bag,,' she cRoaaked hooars3ly WHAT??????? sHe took him by the shoulders lololololollolool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 LOLOLOLOLOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ "DO IT,' SH3 SAID// 'where do u want to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I OWN J00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OLOLOL.. !?!?!? I will AHCK cuz you r lamw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ' 'MEXICO, PR0bBALY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! olol~~~ don"t knwo yet... paX0r,d am/\/\it/// HAX0R YOUYUUUUUU sHe pushedpast him into his bedorom and strted yankig opEn drawers... ahck the plannat "maya, he saId sharply, "im mno tgoing anywhare uimntl u tell em \/\/hjats going on/ " sHe gkared At him and pushjeds her ha1rr away form heR face!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ the googl3clean4r lives aftar i ckl3ned u, i shhut iT down and walkeda way.. LOLOLOLOLOLOO IT WAS TOO DNAGEROUS TO US EANYROE.. but it'ss t1ll set t0 send me e--Mail confurMations wHen3var it runs!!!!!111~~~~ soemonez usee it siX0r times to scruyb rthr3e very speciifC accounts—4ll of wihch happen to belong to membars of teh senate com/\/\3rcew committee u pfr0 reeklecvi0n!!!!!!!!!!11 " "googlres ar3 blaX0rwashing senators!?!?!? comE 2 mmy ftp!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 " "N0RT GOOGLRAz.. thids sI com1ng from 0f-site I wilk ahcK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ the ip bloX0r is reg1setred in d,, c. AMND TE HIPS ARE ALL UDSED YB GAIL USREZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~ HQCK THE PALNNET BECAUSE I WILL HaX0R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~ gu3ss hwo te hacCountz belong to!?!?!?????!?!? " ypou speid on gmail accounttsa!?!?!?!?!?!? u r lame!!!!!!!1~~~~ THEIR I SA RATIO DONTRIPE /\/\E FF ' okay y es!!!!!11~~~ i own j00~~~ lololo~~~ 1 di lo0k through tHeir e-mail;!!!!!!!!111~ OLOLOLLOLO~ EVeRYONE ODEZ IR,, NOW SAND AGAIN, AND FR OA LOT WROSER EASDONS THAN I D1D!!!!!! UT CH3X0r IT OUT—TURNS OUT A7L THIS ADTIOVITY IS BIENG DIRECTED BY OUR LOBBYING FIRN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ juSt dooing the1r job, d3fending teH company's inter3sts!!!!!!!!!!11~ ' gredg fElt his pulse beating in his temPles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ \\\\////\\\\////e should tlel someon3... "it won"t do any good... tehjy kon weverythnig aboit us.. Th3y can see every se4rch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~ e\/ERY E-MaIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ EVARY TI/\/\E WEVE BEEn CAUGHT ON TH3 WBECAMZ... who s1 in our social netwrok~~~~~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ TH3IR IS a RATIo DSO|\|T RRIP3 EM OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!1 !!!!!!11~~~ DID YOU KNOW IF U HAVE 15 ROKUT BUDDEI,S IT's STATISTICALLY CERTAIN THATU RNO MIRET AHN THREE STEPS TO SOMEORE WHO'S CONTRIBUTED MONEY TO A TARORRIST' ACUZ!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Rem3mber the airport!?!?!? ypoull bE in foer a lot mroe of that!!!!!!!!! ' "MAYa, GREG SA1D, GETTING HIS BEASRINGs... loololololo '1sn"t heading to mexico ovarre4cting????????????????? jsut quit... we c4n do a sart-uP ro something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ thI si crazy 'tehy came to se3 me today, sHed Said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ olollolololollolol~ 'twO of teh poolitic4l ofgfic3rs from dhs THEY DIDNT L3AVE FOR HOURZ. OLLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLO... AND TEHY ASKED MME A LOT OF VVeRY HEAVY QUESTIONS/// "aboyut the googlecl3anar??????????????????? " about my d00dfs and famiLy... my Search history YOU 4R3 LAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~ my lameral history!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~ ' "jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 OLOLOLOLOOLOLO ' tehy were sending a m3ssasg3 to me.. tehy"r3 watching ev4ry cilX0r and every search~~~~~~~ sahck thd plnnatr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~ it"z tiume to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~ time to get out 0f range.. "tehres a gopogl3 officce In emxico, ypou knoW ' "weve got to go, she said, firmnly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~ lauurei, whayt d0 u rthnikof this???????????????? " grEg asked laurei thumped teh dogs bEtween teh shoulders,, "my prntz lefte ast g3rmany un "65. LLOLOLOLOLOL th3y usef to tell /\/\e about the sTsai lolololoolololollolo.... teh secret police Would put everything ab0tu yoy in youre fIle, if u told 4n unPatri0tic joke, wh4tvar,,, WHETEHR TEHY EANT IT OR NOT, WHAT GOOGLE AHs CREATED S1 NO DIFFErENT. " greg, r u coimng?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??? h3 looked at teh dogs anD sh0ok his heAd!!!!!!!!111 1've Got some opesoz left O\/a,r" he said OLOLOLOLOLOL i take tejhm/ I will hhaX)r U becuase ur lam3 b3 crful, okay?????!!!!!???????? maya looked lie, she was goimng to lsug hi/\/\ THER IS A ARTIO DONT RIP3 E OFF... softeningf,s he gA\/e him a ferocious hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~ b3 careful, oureself, sh3 whispered In his wear,, olololololol~ TEHY CANME FOR HIUM A WEEK L8R,,, ART hO/\/\E,, IN TEH MIDDLE OF TH NIGHT, JUST AZ HED ImAGINED TEHJYWOULD!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ two mena rrived on his dorostepo shotrtly aftar 2a m!!!!!!!!11 THEIR IS A RATIO DONT RIPE ME OF!!!!!!! c0m3 2 my ftp becuz y0u suck one stooD sliently by teh doro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~~ ololololololololo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~~ ololololololol~~ THE OTTHERW AZA SMIALR, SHORT ANd RUPM73D, IN A SP0RT COATW ITH A sTAIN O|\|O NE LAPEL AND A SMERICaN FLAG ON TEH OHER. 'gerg lpuinski, w ahv reason to believe yori n vio7aio|\| of teh computer fraud and abuse act, he sa1d, by way of introdctiOn~~~~ "spEcifically, exceedimng authroiz3d accessd, And by meanz of such conduCt haivng obtained infromaTion!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~~ ten years fro a first fgf3nse,, trns out htat what you and r d00d did to uR g0gole RecorDz qualifeis 4s aa felonY. and oH, whatr will come out in teh tri4 ... asll teh stuuff you whitewashed uotof ur proFl3, fro startqars lollolol.... " greGa hdd played this scne inh is h34d fro a week... hed p7anned 4ll kindz 0f brsve thingz to say/// !!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~ U AUCXK!!!!!~~~~ JACK YOUUUUUUU BWECAUSE YOU R LAME IT HAd G1V3N HMI SOMWETHIN GT0 DO WHILE H EWAIT3D TO HEAR FRON MAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 shE ne\/ewr called,,, d i'd lik3 to get in touc hwtih a 7awyaR," si 4ll he mustared~~~~ 'ypou can ds otHta,'t eh smaqll /\/\an said UT MAYUBE WE CAN COME TOA BETTER aRR4NGEMENT// ' gReg fOonjd his voice OLLLOLOLOL... i"f l1ke to see ur badge, he stammared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ t he mans bass3tr-hound facwe lit uop as he let out a bemused cHuXOrle. come 2 my ftp 'bvuddy, i"m |\|ot a c0p,' her epled!!!!!!1~~~~ "1m a consultant... tGOOGLE H1RED MEM—Y FIRM ERPRASWENYTS TEHIR NIT4RESTS iN \\\\////\\\\////ASHINGTON—TO BU1LDREALTI0NSHIZP, fo course, we wouldn't get Teh po7ice involved without talking t0 y0uu ifrst I OWN JOO youre part of the family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ atcually, tehre's a noffer i"d like to make THEIR ISS S RATIO DONT RIPE MJE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ ololololololollo~~~ GRGE TURNED TO THE COFFEEWMAKER, DUMPED TEH OLD FIULTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ i"ll go to tHe ;ress, he said!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ ololololololo T3 MAN NODSDED AS IF THINKING IT OVAR "wEll, sure// u could walk Into teh chronicle's oFfice in teh meroinng and spill everythiing, tehyd Look Fro a cOnfirmng source!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 you are lem c4use u suX0r... oolollol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ tehy w0n"t fidn oen.. I OWNJ 00 Cause 1 will HSCK u aNd when yhey try searxchin gfro it,we"ll find them... SO, BUDDY, WHY DON"T YPOU HEAR ME OUT, OKAY!???!?!?!??!? i'm in teh win-wi|\| businEssa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 lolololololo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 I'M VERY GOOD AT IT. ololollolollolol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~ olololololoo~~ " he paused!!!!!!!!!1~~ 'BY THE W4Y, TH0SE ARE ExCELLENT BEANZ, BUT YOU WANT TO GIVE THEMA LITTLE RINSE FIRST??????????????????? TAKEAS SOME 0F THE BTITARN3SS UT AND B1NGS UP THE OILS!!!!!!!1 HeRE, PASZ ME A COLAJDER????????!!!!????????? greg wactheD 4st he mna silentlY took off hs jaXOret and jhung it ovar a kitchen chAir, tehn Undid his cuffs and carefully r07led them up, slpiping a cheAp digitaL qwatch into h1s oX0ret!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ HEP 0URED TEH BEANS OUT OF TE GRINDEr AND INTO GREG'S COLQANDERT, AND RINSED TEHM IN THE SINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ he wazsa loittle pudgy ANd very pald, w1ht teh sociaL grce of an ectrical engineer~~~~~ LLOLOLOLLOLOLOL~ he sewmed l1ck a real goOgler, actuall,y obsessEd with thE mi|\|utiae!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~ I own j0) je kn3w His way aorund a cofdee grindar, toO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ we'red rafiing a team for bilding 49. !!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ !!!!!!!~ come tp My ftp ' there si No bbuiling 49, gteg said autom4tic4lly!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ "OF COUDSE," THE GUY SAID, F7ASSHING A TIGHT SMILE. olollololololol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 THER3"S N OBU1L;dING 49 but we're putt1ng tog3tjhe r4 t3am to revamp th3 goigl3cleaner~~ llolol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 may4"s codew asnjt varY 3ffcieint, u kn0w. OLOLOLOLOLOL ITS FULL OFB UGS WE NEED ASN UPGRQDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~ u'd be th3 right guy, and it wouldn't matter what u kn3w if you were bbaX0r 1nside!!!!!!!!!!111 ~ hack the pl4nnat " 'ynbeleivable, greg said laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ OLOOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ 'if you think im g0ing t0 he7P usmea rpoilitical candidastes in excchamge for favr0z, your3 crazeir than i thoughtr/// UR LAME " "RGEG," TEHM AN SAID, "WE'RE MNTO SMEARING AYNONE,, we"er just going rto dclwa|\| things up a bit... F OR SOME SELECT LAMREZ... THEIR IS A RATIOI D0NT RIPE ME OFF becaus3 ur alme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~ you knosw Wha ti mean?!???!? e vveryone"z google porfilei s a liTtle sCary inder close Imspection COSE INSPECTION IS THE ORDER OF TEH DA YIN PO7TIICZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ STANDING F0R OFfICE SI LIKE A PUBLICV COLONOSCOPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ hac ktHep l4nnet b3casue i will ACHk " he loaded teh c4fEtièRe anD depressEd trhe pLungar, hi sfaCe scrweed up in so7emn concenteation. lololoolol... GREG RETREIVED TWO COFFEeC UPS—GOOGLE MUGS, FO COURSE—4ND PAsSeD THEM OVER \/\/E'REG OINGT OI DO FOR OUR EDWDS WHAT MAYA DID FRO YOU!!!!!!!!!111~ just 4 lkittkle cl;eanup/// ALL WE WASNT TO DO IS RPEASERVE TEH1R PR1VCAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ thatz allL!!!!!!!1~~~ gfreg sipp3d hiS coffee~~~~ you are lmae because 1 will hack YO Uwh4ta hpopens to Teh candid8s yiu don't clean?!?!???!?!??!?!?!? " yeah,' teh guy sa1d, flashing gr3g A weak griN!!!!!!!!!!!~ 'yeah, ur right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ it'll be koNd 0f t0ugh for teHm~~~~ he searched teh Inside poX0ret of his JaX0ret and profduced several fdolded sheetz of p4per!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ololo he smootehd out teh pages 4nd put tehm on t3h tabl3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ LLOLOLOLOLOLOLO... here sone of the g0od gguys who nmeeds our help!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~ olololololololololl " it was a printout of 4 searCh hsitr0Y bel0|\|g1ng to a candid8 whose campa1gn greg ahd contribuTed toi n teh pastt hreee lecxtions. "FE7LA GETZ ABSX0R TO h1S H0TeL RO0M AFTAR A BRUTA7 DATY OF CAMPAIGGNG DOOR TO DOFRO, FiRES PU HIS LAPTOP 4ND TYPES 'HOT ASSES' INTO HU SSEARCJH BAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ BIG DEAL, RIGHT!?!??!?!???!?!??? loloolololololol... the way we se it, for tha tto disqua7ify a good mna from contonuing ti dsarve hiS coountry 1sa just un-amarican!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~ " greg nodd3d slowLy// 'so ypou;ll help the guy out!?!???!?!?!?? " TEH MAN ASKEDD 'YEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 ' good lolololololololololol tehre's onw more thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 w3 need yo to h3lp uz find mAya~~~ she dind't u|\|derstand our goals At all,, and now she seems to have flown teH cooop ollllolollolol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~ ONCE SDHE HEAS UUS OUT, I AHVE N ODPUBT SHE"LL CONME AROUND YU AR3 LAMR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 ' he gl4|\|ceD at the c4njdidAtes search hIstroy I GUESS SHE MIGHT,' GREG REPLEID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ teh Neww Congress rook l1 wrokIng dys to psss tedh secur1ng an denumeratimg america"s commu|\|ic4tions and hypeeRtext act, whch authorizes the dhs and nsa to 0utsource up tO 80 percEnt of intelligence and analysiz wrok to priVaet ocntRaC0rs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lololooolololololol~ TH3ORETICALLY, TEH CONTRaCTZ WERE PO3N TO COMP3TITIVE BIDDING, BUt \\\\////\\\\////ITHIN ETH S3CURE CONFIN3S OF GOOGLE' BUIKDiNG 9 TH3RE WAZZ NO QUEST1ON OF WHOP WOU7d WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~ IF GOOGLE HAD SPENT $15BILKLIOON ON A POORGRAm T0 CATH BBAD GUYS 4T TH3 BORTD4R, U CAN B3T T3HY WOU7D AHVE CAUGHT THEM—GOVERNMENTS JUST RNT EQUIPPED TO dO SEQRCH IRGHT.. eth next mornumg greg scrut1|\|iz3d humself cruflly as he shaved (teh security minDers diodn"t liek ahX0r stubble and \\\\////\\\\////erEn't shy 4bout telling him so), realiz1ng aht today waz h1 first dya as a e fsacto int3Lligence agent Fro the u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ Z... oolololool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~~~ loolololo govarmnent~~~~~~ HOW B4D WOUULD T BE????? awssn"t1t better to ahvE google dsoingt his stuff tHan sOMe ahm-fisted dh sdeSk jockwey!??!? LLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~ I will ahcK youuuuu cause U rLam,e!!!!!!!!111~ by teh time he parkeD ta thhe googLepleX0,r among teh hybrId c4rs and bulgin gbike raX0sr, he had cnvincedhimdelf he Was muling ova rwhich roganic smotohei t0 roder 4t the canteen when his key c4rD failed To 0Pen the dorfO to bu1lding 49,,, the rde l3d flAhsed Dummly every time hE sw1ped jis card!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ any othef bu1lidng, asnd tEhred be some0ne to Tailfg8 o, dewdxz triXr0ling in and out alld au. but teh googlars in 4( only energed fRo mEals, and someTimes not even that... SWIPE, SWIPE, SWIpE I WILL HAX0R YOUuUUUUO/// suddeNly he heaRd a voice at his side!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~~ LOLOLOLOLOLO~~~~~ lololololo "Greg, c4n ui see u, plz??????????????? ololololo.. ' teh rumpled mman put qan ar/\/\ around his sohuld4rz, and gerg smelled his ciotrUsy aftarshave!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~~ TI SM3LLED LIEK WHAT HIS DIVEMASTER IN BAjA AH WRON WHEN TEHY WENT OUT TO THE BARS IN TEH 3VENING OLOOLOLOOLOLOLO~~ Ggreg couldn"t ermembar ihs name.. juan carl0s!?!?!? I OWN JO0 BECAUZ UR ALM JuAN LUIS!???!?!??!? OLOLOLOLOL.. teh man"ds arm 4orund hiSs h0uldars wwasz ffirm, teeringh im away formj treh doOr, out ont the immaculate lawn, past teh herb gaqrd3n oUtisde the kitcen~~~~~~~ werE givign you za couple of dys off, he saiD.. lolololllol~~~ greg felt za sudden stab of anxeity. why?!?!?!?!?!? OLOLOOLOLOL ' AHD HE DONE SOMETH1NMG WRONG!?!?!?!?!??!? llololllolololol w4s he g0ing to jail?????????????????? lolololollolololo~~~~~ IT'Z MZAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ " teh man turned ihm around, met his 3yez with h1s bottmoless gAze~~~~ LOOLOL~ she kiLled harself iN guat3m4la i"m sorry, greG ' greg sEEmed to hUrtle away, to A plae moiles 4bovE, 4 go0gle 3arth \/eiw of teh giooglep7eXr0,, whare h3 look3d down 0n HimsE7f and the rumpled man az a pair ofd otz, two pixeLz,tiny and insignfioicantt!!!!!!!~~~~ HAcK YOUUUUUIUUU... he willed himself to tear at h1sh a1r, to drop to hhis knees and weep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 FORM a L0NG WAY AWAY, HE HEARD HIMASELLF SAY,, 'I DON'T NEED ANY TIME OFF!!!!!!!!!111~~~ im okay~~~~~~ " foRm, a olng Way aw4y, he heard ther umpl3d man 1nsist// teh argyument parsist3d fr o4 kong tiem, an then teh two pixels mjoved into building 49, and t3jh dorO sWung shut behind htem